Chapter: Chapter 16
↓ Transcript
Emily: That's a relief. I just assumed you couldn't get hurt all this time.
Dee: Nah. But if I do get hurt, it's only because I was stupid and forgot to be intangible enough to avoid it.
Emily: Why don't you just stay like that all the time?
Dee: Because I hate the numbness. It's better than pain, and sometimes it's quite relaxing, really, to withdraw from everything, but... I don't like feeling so completely detached. Like I'm even more nothing than usual.
Emily: What?
Dee: I don't know. Even when I'm tangible, I think I'm just an empty space that's somehow solid. I'm simply pushing the universe out of the way, I'm not really occupying anything. Most of the time I don't even do that. I can see and touch and hear the universe, but it can't see or touch or hear me. If there's no way to tell that I'm here, perhaps I'm not. At least, that's what it seems like sometimes.
Emily: You're here, Dee.
Dee: I know that. Of couse I'm here, I'm everywhere. I define your lives. But every now and again I feel like nothing. It's silly, really. But it's worse when I'm numb, so I don't really like being numb.
Emily: Oh, Dee.
Dee: What?
Emily: You're so... ... I can't believe you worry about me.
----
Alt text: Well, I've seen all there is to see, and I've heard all they have to say
I've done everything I wanted to do; I've done that too
And it ain't that pretty at all, ain't that pretty at all
So I'm gonna hurl myself against the wall
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all
Dee: Nah. But if I do get hurt, it's only because I was stupid and forgot to be intangible enough to avoid it.
Emily: Why don't you just stay like that all the time?
Dee: Because I hate the numbness. It's better than pain, and sometimes it's quite relaxing, really, to withdraw from everything, but... I don't like feeling so completely detached. Like I'm even more nothing than usual.
Emily: What?
Dee: I don't know. Even when I'm tangible, I think I'm just an empty space that's somehow solid. I'm simply pushing the universe out of the way, I'm not really occupying anything. Most of the time I don't even do that. I can see and touch and hear the universe, but it can't see or touch or hear me. If there's no way to tell that I'm here, perhaps I'm not. At least, that's what it seems like sometimes.
Emily: You're here, Dee.
Dee: I know that. Of couse I'm here, I'm everywhere. I define your lives. But every now and again I feel like nothing. It's silly, really. But it's worse when I'm numb, so I don't really like being numb.
Emily: Oh, Dee.
Dee: What?
Emily: You're so... ... I can't believe you worry about me.
----
Alt text: Well, I've seen all there is to see, and I've heard all they have to say
I've done everything I wanted to do; I've done that too
And it ain't that pretty at all, ain't that pretty at all
So I'm gonna hurl myself against the wall
'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all